hais i have down my head again dunno what am i going on. i really wish i can just go like this and leave everything behind i really sick of tired of everything . i wan jumped down of my block but i'm just so scared . i dun have the guts to do jump. i wish i kannna a fatal accident and just passed away like this . well, i just love him too fcuking deep. i so wish i can just let go something. and i wont be so upset right now. the feeling is so damn sucks . what can i say is i love them i love eevryone tats cared for me. i want him to love and cared is it so hard for him to do in his own role to love his own family? i think alots and dosent slp well. think alot. i know i have depression but i just du console doctor. cus i think its no use for me to do that . i know my fcuking attitude causes everyone to hate me . i'm like this what can i do? its hard to change. just went to cook porrigde for my girl she is sleeping soundly right now. so cute of her. i going later in the late afternoon soon. maybe not i wont be coming back home soon. i have to start my new life and try to let go every single right now. i think i hav) i must sort it right fast or else i dunno what will happen next. i really dun dared to think abt it . cus it really damn scary. really happens too much of unhappiness things. i know i run out like this is a childish thing but i dun wan stay at home and anyhow think this and tht. i really going crazy . i just miss my 2nd aunty alot. i really do. is like past 3 months really happen too much i really cant accept it.maybe it's my life. i owe them too much in my past life so i have to return . thats what my girl bheekim told me maybe its true . i just dun wan to face and problems i wan my life with love care concern and joyful life i dun wan like this . i know my parents is worrying for me. its really a time to have a thinking to think of a way . if keep carry on like this i scared more problem is coming up. i love him i wan care for him but i just dunno what im thinking now. i need to cool down . it 9 am already . i can stay at home awhile more and i will leave my hs . sianz i have no much cash right now dunno how am i going to survive. i really hope gt miracle. i just fcuking sianz liao. i think i end here le.